A secret that I chose to keep,
A secret that still haunts me,
Something I vouched to die with
With flashbacks so strong,
You’d swear it’s dejavu.
When it happened,
I myself could not believe it
It was hard to accept,
And much more harder to stay mum about it,
As much as I wanted to scream for help,
I lay there feeling like a piece of shit.
I couldn’t feel the pain,
My tears had run out,
There I lay with a feeling of emptiness,
There’s no going back to the girl I once was.
The girl I never cared for but now the girl I longed to be.
It was just a drink with a new friend I thought
We seemed to be having fun, I thought.
But silly me, who did I think I was?
What authority did I think I held?
What was I thinking when I told Him to stop?
That he would listen and do as I said?
I played myself.
I was robbed of my own joy
I was robbed of my pride
I was made to believe it was a bad dream
I too started to believe a lie…
A lie that was created to protect the doer.
It’s been a few months , and this replays itself in my head and worsens by the day.
I will never be the same girl anymore
Being silent ruined me.
No, the doer wronged me!
He ruined me!
Feeling safe is far from me now…
The justice system itself works in his favor, so who am I?
I feel like every new friend, may not be a new friend at all,
But a wolf in sheep’s skin.
I feel men’s eyes glare at me,
Trying to read what’s left of me…
I feel their eyes piercing throughout my entire entity…. Embodying the pain once again.
By : La Nkosi
This is based on a true story, Her identity is protected for obvious reasons… I believe there are more. Feel free to talk to me, your story can also be shared to raise awareness on happenings around us, remember you are not alone.
I feel your pain, I too can relate.
La Nkosi Writes 